CONFLICT RESOLUTION: MEDIATION, MENTORING & COACHING

Tips on Choosing between Half Day v Full Day 

Pros of Half Day: 

• Participants who are up against the clock start compromising earlier. 
• You can extend time by mutual agreement on the day (but it may cost more - see cons). 
• Some mediations are just about seeing what can be agreed before a court process, they usually do not need a full day.
• When an agreement is reached and signed, it can save a heap of money. You have cut down the costs of the venue, legal advisors and me.

Cons of Half Day:

• Half day mediations are less usual for a reason; few disputes can settle in half a day. it takes as long as it takes. There are too many 'unknown unknowns' to estimate a time-frame.
• It can add a heap of pressure onto an already stressful day. Mediation is challenging and emotions run high meaning few people are ready for compromise until hours into the process.
• Half-days add pressure and time can run out before a signed agreement can be drawn up and signed. 
• Extending time depends on the availability of all involved, including any room hire. If your hours creep up, booking the full day in advance may well have been cheaper. A bit like ordering two glasses of wine, then another round and realising you should have ordered the bottle.  

Tips on Choosing between Online v In-Person 

Pros of Online: 

• Its cheaper. often much cheaper. No room hire, no travel and I'm cheaper because I have no expenses nor do I spend time travelling.  
• It is easier to organise and that usually means we can mediate your dispute more quickly, sometimes within a week.
• Even the tech-phobic can master zoom. We'll have a pre-mediation call and go through it, or your legal advisors will help. Please do let being a Zoom newbie prevent you from considering a remote mediation. We'll make sure you are comfortable before the mediation.
• People tend to feel more relaxed when at home. Much of mediation can be waiting around while I am speaking to participants 'in the other room'. 
• You may feel more comfortable in an 'open session' should you want one. Being in the same virtual room is easier for many than being in the same actual room. Sharing a room can be hugely helpful for direct communication when both participants want it, and for speed.
• A room for each party and a room for me, the mediator, is the norm. Securing three rooms in one building can be a challenge, especially at short notice. 
• Often participants live hours away from each other and choosing a mutually convenient place is a dispute all in itself. 
• The barrier of a screen between you and others at this emotional time can help enormously. It should not be underestimated if you have deep rooted conflict.

Cons of Online: 

• It's just not the same as face-to-face communication. We all know that. We all know the statistic that over 80% of communication is non-verbal. A participant may also choose to turn off their camera which makes communication difficult. We have to navigate that as best we can.  
• Confidentiality breaches are not as easy for me to control. I cannot know past the peripheral space of the screen.
• Participants may get distracted in ways they wouldn't if in a dedicated room. Though I will try, I might not be able to pick up on why a person is distracted and may see it as disengagement. 
• Glitches and the risk of a hacker or other uninvited guest onto the platform are aspects none of us can control, though I will be vigilant. There will be a back up plan for glitches. I see an uninvited guest joining the process as a tiny risk, but a risk all the same.  

Deciding on Venues for In-Person Mediations

• A room for each party and a room for me, the mediator, is the norm. Occasionally only two rooms are booked, the idea being that one is the main room for all getting together and one is for a party who wants some privacy. Two rooms are far from ideal if the dispute is emotive but securing three rooms in one building can be a challenge at short notice. 
• Often participants live in different cities. Sometimes it works for one participant to offer to pay for the hotel and train fare of the other if the other will travel to their home town. Other participants choose to meet in a mid-way location. Some agree to choose a venue in the location of the mediator, or their legal advisors, to try and save professional costs. 
• Some legal advisors can offer rooms for mediations, but many participants prefer a neutral territory.
• Local authorities often have rooms that can be rented by the hour or the day. They tend to open late and close early though and its a challenge to get three rooms close together.
• I have discounted room rates where I am the chosen mediator at a few locations in Stockport, Manchester, London and Nice (France). Please ask for details.
• I can assist in locating a venue but you can usually personalise your arrangement better than I can. Please ask if you need help. 
• When booking, consider practicalities. Is there a printer for any signed agreement not signed electronically? Good wi-fi? Does a participant or advisor have any mobility issues? Where are the bathrooms and will it matter if one person bumps into another in the corridor or bathroom if there is only one bathroom?  Are there refreshment facilities? Is there parking? What is the opening time and closing time, and will they accommodate an overrun? Can the facility split the invoice per participant or how will that be managed?

Considering the Timing of your Mediation

• A benefit of early mediation is the lack of negotiation-baggage to get past. Like begets like. Low ball silly offers lose trust and confidence and tends to take a while to recover from. Unfair play results in equally bad behaviour once the litigation-tennis-racket ahs served up another dose of ill-feeling. A punch gets a punch back and both parties are bruised with animosity. Starting mediation early often helps. 
• The longer you've been at war, the more you've likely incurred cost and time which begins entrenchment in both parties positions. The longer this has gone on, the harder it is to dig out.
• Occasionally mediations should be timed later in a dispute, such as after valuations, after probate assets have been fully realised or when an expert is needed.  Otherwise there are too many hypotheticals to deal with and not enough bare facts to pin solutions upon.